I was driving through the outskirts of Hope, BC, having an inspired conversation with a close friend about “how to change”, as in how to ACTUALLY change your lifestyle, habits, self care practices. One thing that jumped out at me during our musings was the concept of being fair to yourself when making changes. There are two components to this “fairness”. The first is setting realistic goals and the second is providing yourself with the means to achieve them.
I thought about this a lot over the past few days and was able to identify areas in my life where I am attempting to make big changes but failing to do one or the other of the “fairness” steps in the process. For instance, I set a goal of losing 25 lb this summer — that would be 8 lbs a month!! Not realistic. I also have not been providing myself with healthy, easily accessible food or prepared lunches and snacks to take to work in order to maintain a healthy and regular eating schedule. Overall when I consider the way I am approaching weight loss at the present time it is, well, wrought with unfairness to myself!
I can’t expect to lose 8 lb in one month because at my size that would be unhealthy. Also, if I am asking myself to change my eating habits, asking my metabolism to heal and speed up but not providing me with plenty of healthy prepared snacks and lunches, that’s just plain mean! ;)
My friend Chantel, one of my biggest inspirations, has been continually encouraging me to be compassionate with myself. I have come to blog this morning with the realization that for me this is easier to understand and implement when I think of it as being FAIR to myself, giving myself a FAIR chance to change. Up until this point I don’t think i’ve been all that fair to me.
Self, I’m sorry for expecting you to change but not providing you with the means to change. From now on I will make every effort, with all my heart, to be your benefactress.